The following excerpt didn’t make the book, but it comes from a chapter addendum, entitled ”Pop Lust for Life: Rob Morgan and the Squirrels,” that does appear in the final manuscript. I don’t know how to properly introduce this piece, other than to say the Squirrels used a variety of props during their performances, including the once popular ’80s toy, the Cabbage Patch Kids. They named one Baby Cheevers, but you’ll have to read the book to find out about him (her?).
The Squirrels soon added trunk loads of unwanted Cabbage Patch dolls to their ever-growing stage arsenal. In the early ’90s, Bumbershoot invited the band to play at Seattle’s annual Labor Day festival, the same festival which saw the U-Men set the outdoor moat on fire in 1985. The Squirrels offered the dolls to the audience in interesting ways.
At their final Bumbershoot performance, the Squirrels played inside at a large exhibition hall. The band brought their Cabbage Patch dolls with them. Morgan had also purchased surgical tubing to construct a makeshift slingshot. You can imagine what happened next. The Squirrels’ front man tied each end of the tubing to a microphone stand, using a pirate flag to pull the slingshot back. As security guards assisted by holding the stands in place, Morgan drew the slingshot all the way back to the drum kit. He then placed a Cabbage Patch doll on top of the flag. Before fans could realize what was about to happen, they found themselves under a heavy artillery barrage from Cabbage Patch warheads. “And that sucker would fly like halfway out into the crowd,” says Morgan.
The band quickly emptied their supply of the toy, covering the crowd with remnants of the ’80s fad. “The next thing I know,” says bassist Craig Ferguson, “I look up and the audience is just a gigantic ocean of flying Cabbage Patch dolls.”